During my employment at my first job out of college, I spent a lot of time at a super-naturey-lotsa-trees-kick-ass park that was just about a mile away from the office. When I say spent a lot of time, I mean spent a LOT of time. If I could make love to a park, marry it, and have lots of half park/half human babies, it would be THIS park. It was my best friend.

It was awesome: walking trails out the ass, beautiful flowing rivers, waterfalls, jogging trails, huge scenic areas, picnic areas galore, forests that one could get lost in (and I got lost quite a bit), you name it – it had it (if "it" means "things in a park").

Lunches were not bad when I had people to hang out with, but once everyone else was laid-off and it was just ME, I had a HUGE amount of ME time. My bosses (the two brothers) were nice guys, but they had a tendency of going off and doing their own thing for lunch, leaving me all by my lonesome (a tear for the Maniac).

This wouldn't have been bad if I worked close to home, I could have gone out with some of my friends and whatnot, but I worked damn near 45 minutes away from my house. Every once in a while, my wife or one of my buddies would drive up to hang out, but NO ONE really had time to drive all the way out there and back.

So... I would either spend most of my lunch (I would sometime drag it out to about 2 hours... hehehehe) either adventuring around the woods like a spastic Indiana Jones or sleeping (in the grass, in the car, on a picnic table, in the outhouse).*

I would always be running around the park either hiking, taking pictures with my camera, attempting to jog (but vomiting instead), drawing, biking, running around pretending I was a Ninja hiding in trees waiting for unsuspecting squirrels or old people (then giggling to myself), reenacting my favorite scenes from the Blair Witch Project (then giggling to myself), acting like the "Can You Hear Me Now" guy with my cellphone when calling ANYBODY that would talk to me (even strangers - the giggling to myself), spelunking into caves that went nearly one entire foot underground (then giggling to myself), catching leaves as they fell from the tree (then giggling to myself), trying to track down the ever-elusive yeti while running blindly into the woods (then giggling to myself), curling up into a fetal position while crying and covering myself with grass clippings (then giggling to myself), or just hanging out reading a good book (then giggling to myself).

When it was REALLY nice out, I would drag one of those foldable chairs out into the middle of the river and just perch myself out in the water like a fat man sitting on a chair in the river and read a magazine while the water trickled around my toes lulling me to sleep until I would find myself being carried downstream until I was lost only to be butt-raped by a bunch of hillbillies forcing me to squeal like a piggy**. It was GREAT!!!

GOD... I do miss those days. I had NO CLUE how stress-free THAT job was. Yeah, there were times that I was bored out of my mind, but DAMN.....

I LOVED that park. I wonder if it misses me?