After much partying, enjoying the tastiness of the ham, daring people to eat the pig eyes (we did) and having a good old time drinking until the world was spinning, almost everyone decided all at once that it would be just a GREAT idea to stumble dumbly through the woods behind my buddy's cabin and go swimming in the lake back there.
(continued below....)
Although I was pretty blitzed, I sobered up REAL quick when I heard this. I tried to stop them but would they listen. NOOOOO! They wouldn't listen to MEEEEE!!! So like a bunch of stupid dumbasses, they all stripped down and were playing around in the lake, no lights, no clues, all drunk. If THIS isn't a set-up for a bad horror movie, I don't know WHAT is.
Sure enough, one of the girls was giggling screaming, "Heheheh... look at me... I'm so fucked up... I..gurble..so...burgurgle... fucked... gurglegruglethhpppp....", and then she was GONE!!!
We ended up dragging her ass out, smacking her around some with a tree branches (this wasn't Baywatch, we didn't know the Heimlich Maneuver, the Hindlick Maneuver, or any of that), and yelling "Oh Fuck, Oh Shit, Oh Fuck" over and over and over. She actually did the "Spit Water All Over The Place" thing like you see in the movies. She looked around all befuddled. Said, "Where am I, what (burp) hap...urp...happend?"
Then went right back to drinking ten minutes later.
Good News: Nobody went swimming after that. God, I hate people sometimes.
