I created this little illustration of doom back in Grade School for some project or another. You can tell that I am beginning to get a bit twisted and a little geeky-dungeons-and-dragony-kinda-creative with the whole set-up of this. I spent a lot of time devising horrible little devices of death (Grimtooth - eat your heart out) for any who dared to intrude upon these hallowed grounds of Ra-atomham.
Click on the links above to view the larger version so you can feast your eyes and entrails upon the following wonderful funerific trappings for humanity:
- An ancient well full of man eating sharks and octopuses. Better than a woman eating beaver (oh, no I didn't).
- Ceilings that crash down atop peoples heads, squishing them into Jif (crunch style).
- Snake pit full of... you guessed it... kitties. Just kidding, you silly fool. It's full of SNAKES. Wouldn't be called a SNAKE pit if it were NOT full of SNAKES. That would be just plain stupid now wooden tit.
- The "Collapsing Floor with Spikes Underneath It" is a trick that I believe some corporate offices use to this very day.
- A room that fills with sand. Why? Because it's the DESERT for Christ Sake. Do you know how much refrigeration would cost if the room filled with ICE or how much the BAR TAB would be if it filled up with Jagermeister???
- An Indiana Jones style of boulder coming after you and smooshing you just for giggles kind of thing.
- A Room with a Falling Board of Spikes. Better than sitting in a room with Spike Lee talking about how Air Jordan's are his favorite shoes.
- A pit of smoldering hot lava. Which isn't quite as tasty as slightly hot java (with a bit o' cream 'n sugar please).
- A hallway of servants undead corpses. In todays world, they are stuffed into cubicles in front of computers and forced to work long hours instead of just STANDING around in some silly boring hallways.
- A flame pit. This is a pit that houses Boy George and George Michael who are done up in rather giddy make-up and they tickle-tickle-tickle you until George asks to take you to the public restrooms for a spot of fun. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!! This IS horrifying.
- Ancient ghosts of egyptian warriors. Better than really old goats ridden by midgets (uh... o.k. just go with it).
- A family of poisonous tarantulas. As opposed to a family of Mormons. AHHHHHHH!!!!! I'm a little bit country. I'm a little bit DEAD 'cause I through myself out the window. Damn you. DAMN YOU Donnie and Marie. DAMN YOU TO HADES!!!
- A spear that hurtles into your chest. As opposed to Britney Spears rubbing you with her fake chest (which wouldn't be THAT bad... no sir. Not bad at all - her singin' sucks balls but I would allow her to...)
If you need the Adobe Acrobat Reader, click here.
