Due to a lack of proper background checking, the organizers of the 83rd Miss America pageant discovered that the winner "Kirsten Haglund" supposedly from Michigan, was in all actuality Pennywise -- the homicidal, shape-shifting, child-eating monster.
During an emergency press conference held today, a representative for the organization stated the following:
We were willing to overlook the minor mistake and allow Pennywise to keep the title for the year, but upon discovering that he was NOT from Michigan as we were led to believe -- but was instead from MAINE!!! Well, THAT is something the organization cannot let slip by.
This is a rather unfortunate position we have been put in. We wish to apologize to both Pennywise and our fans. The Miss America Organization will make sure this never happens again. "
The crown will be officially given to second place winner Michelle "Mikey" Myers during a small ceremony being held at the Child Trauma Center.
Though Pennywise may be stripped of his crown, you will not be seeing the last of him. Modelling offers are flooding in from the high fashion industry.
Vogue, Elle, and Oprah's "O" magazines have been battling to be the first to have him as their covergirl. The first deal signed, however, goes to Playboy Enterprises, Inc. Scheduled to shoot in a few months, Pennywise will be the men's magazine's Miss April.
Asked why there is so much interest in Pennywise, Playboy's founder Hugh Hefner has this to say:
