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> Tangent #41: Franken Berry's HORRIBLE SECRET!!!
I had planned on just creating a few silly Dorktionary terms from the cereal named Franken Berry. Who didn't LOVE the tasty goodness of strawberry marshmallows and way too much sugar to get any kid HYPER AS HELL!!! Nothing better than combining Mary Shelley's reanimated creature and a MASSIVE SUGAR BUZZ.

As I did my typical product research before writing anything, I started to notice something.

Something that seemed odd at first, but as I delved further...

...and further...

...and further...

...and further into the matter, I became a man OBSESSED with finding the TRUTH. For I knew, that I had accidently stumbled across something that was meant to be kept hidden from the public AT ALL COST...

I am deathly afraid to divulge what I have found, for I fear General Mills' Marketing Department Sniper's may be training their laser scopes smack dab in the middle of my forehead as I write these words (so I better write fast)...

The HORRIBLE TRUTH, dear readers is...

...is...

...IS...

Somebody call Nicolas Cage, because I want him to play ME in the movie version of this. We'll call it National Treasure: The Cereal Of Secrets. If Nicky Cage ain't interested, I'll just get Tom Hanks to play me and we'll call it The DaFrankenBerry Code. Figure the Booberry Ghost can play the creepy white albino monk and Count Chocula can... uh... play the leading lady... 'cause he acts a little funny (you know... he likes to dress nice and suck on things... you know... a little funny... not that there's anything wrong with that)!

Here's the links to the original Dorktionary words: