Quite simple really. I bought the movie "Reel Horror" at a Dollar Store for (you guessed it) One Whole Dollar. When my wife and I got home from our big Dollar Store Shopping Spree Extravaganza, I waited in anticipation for her to go to bed. She HATES bad horror movies. Me... I eat bad horror movies for breakfast. Love 'em. Once she muddled her way upstairs to go to bed, I popped that bad boy into the dvd player, navigated through the menu that looked like it had been designed by a blind retarded man, and hit "Play Movie". Then I sat back to await a wonderfully bad flick.
If only I had known the horrors that awaited me, I would have stopped myself. But it was too late. The fickle finger of fluffy fate had other plans for me that night.
As I watched the movie's crack-smoking randomness of a plot unfold before my horrified eyes, I found myself saying such things as:
- Wow.. what the... huh... Why are the talking in SUPER ECHO talk?
- What the... What's up with that pirate patch and that outfit... Holy mother.. that outfit... gahhhh... eyes bleeding
- Huh... what the hell is going on NOW. What the fuck is up with that MIDGET??? Ahhh... did David Lynch direct this? He looks like a Mini-Kenny Loggins. Or... or... WORSE... a Mini-Heather Locklear that had been beat with an ugly tree. Hmmm... I wonder how many beers it would take before I would... AHHH... stop thinking that... stop... probably 8.
- What.. SINGING!!! Holy CRAP this is HORRIBLE!!! HOLY SHIT... make it STOP... ah... my GOD... what a totally gigantic steaming oozing pile of crap.
This is probably the worst movie I have EVER seen. Best dollar I ever spent.