We were goofing around at work one day during lunch time. As usual, our conversation began getting a little rude, disgusting, and downright bizarre (this tends to happen). Somehow, we started talking about making ice cream out of MEAT!!! Mmmmmm. Nothing better than a Meat Smoothie. Then we just started going off, trying to come up with the most disgusting Ice Cream flavors that we could possilby think of. All fun and games.
When I got home, I decided do some research and find out if there actually WERE any flavors like the ones we had made up. After an hour of searching, I found a few weird but not really disgusting flavors made here is the U.S. I was about ready to give up until I decided to look up Japanese Ice Cream. Most of the time when I eat Japanese Food, I have no idea what I am eating anyway, so I figured there may be SOME chance that I would come across one or two weird flavors.
Oh, I came across some flavors allright. But not just one or two. I have stumbled upon a treasure trove of the nastiest, most disgusting, vomitous, horrifying flavors that I have EVER heard of. These flavors are absolutely true. I have highlighted my favorites just for you. Enjoy!!! (and try not to puke on your keyboard)
- Abalone (Awabi Aisu)- You're never alone, sucking on a Abalone.
- Aojiru Ice Cream - A broth of green leaf vegetables. Starve a fever, feed a cold some Aojiru.
- Cactus Ice Cream (Saboten Aisu)- Hope they take those prickers out.
- Char Grilled Seaweed Ice Cream - Aquaman's favorite.
- Charcoal Ice Cream - Ummmmm, WHY?
- Cheese Ice Cream - Hahahahahhaha.
- Cheese Risotto Ice Cream - Hahahahahahah, again.
- Cherry Blossom Ice Cream (Sakura Aisu - Try to "pop" this in your mouth without gagging.
- Chicken Ice Cream (Kochin Chikin Aisu) - And I do LOVES me some chicken.
- Chicken Wing Ice Cream (Nagoya Tebasaki) - Um, does the Wing taste different than the rest of the chicken when it comes to Ice Cream?
- Chilli Pepper Ice Cream - Wanna wanna wanna give to your mama. Wanna wanna wanna give it to your papa.
- Collagen Lemon Ice Cream - Someone keep this away from Angelina Jolie. Her lips don't need to be any bigger.
- Corn Ice Cream (Tomorokoshi Aisu)- What do they do with the cob?
- Crab Ice Cream (Kani Aisu) - I'm on a Seafood Ice Cream Diet...
- Cream Cheese Ice Cream - Do they make Bagel Ice Cream to shmear it on?
- Curdled Bean Ice Cream (Natto Aisu)- After you are done eating it, it become HURLED Bean Ice Cream.
- Cypress Tree Ice Cream - Hope it doesn't have termites.
- Deep Sea Water (Umi no Mizu Aisu) - Brine on the brain? Try this flavor.
- Deep Water Gelatto - Do I need one of those giant deep sea suits to eat it?
- Dracula Cool Garlic Mint Ice Cream - Keeps both vampires AND the girls away.
- Eel Ice Cream (Unagi Aisu)- It's electric, boogy-woogy-woogy.
- Environmentally Friendly Miso Ice Cream - Soy Bean Paste - As opposed to the Sewage Waste Ice Cream flavor that was so popular
- Fish Ice Cream (Sanma Aisu) - I was hoping for Sea Monkey flavored, but this will do.
- Fried Eggplant Ice Cream (Yaki Nasu Aisu) - At least it's not Fried Worms.
- Garlic Ice Cream (Dorakyura Aisu) - See "Dracula Cool Garlic Mint Ice Cream"
- Genmai Ice Cream - Unpolished Rice - I didn't realize that they even POLISHED rice.
- Goat Ice Cream (Yagi Aisu) - Goats are EVIL and rather tasty in Ice Cream form.
- Grated Yam Ice Cream - I hear it really Grates on your nerves.
- Herbal Remedy Ice Cream - Take two cones and call me in the morning.
- Hojicha Bitter Green Tea Ice Cream - Blah.
- Hot Spring Water Ice Cream - Here it is GREAT for your complexion.
- Indian Curry Ice Cream - Oh jes. Vedy vedy good.
- Koshihikari Rice Ice Cream (Koshihikari Aisu)- I want some Vanilla Rice Rice Baby.
- Lettuce and Potato Ice Cream (Retasu Poteto Aisu)- Why?
- Miso Ice Cream (Hacho Miso) - Bean Paste - If you want one with sprinkles of Viagra on it, ask for the Miso Horny Flavor
- Miso Ramen Ice Cream - Mmmmm, noodles.
- Nagoya Noodle Ice Cream (Nagoya Kishimen)- Mmmmm, more noodle.
- Natural Salt Ice Cream - You can smear this on your fries as well.
- Octopus Ice Cream (Taco Aisu) - With one tentacle or two? There's a sucker born every minute.
- Ox Tongue Ice Cream (Gyutan Aisu) - I wonder if it comes with an entire tongue just drooping out of the top of the cone
- Oyster Ice Cream (Kaki Aisu) - Oye.
- Pearl Ice Cream - In case you are wondering, they are out of the Jam.
- Persimmon Ice Cream - Allrighty then.
- Pickled Plum and Shiso Ice Cream - This'll make you picklepuke.
- Pit Viper Ice Cream - LITERALLY a Pit Viper: a dangerous snake. At least it's not Brad Pitt flavor. I won't even GO there.
- Potato Ice Cream - Oh my. I wondered if it is whipped first.
- Potato Liquor Ice Cream (Shochu Aisu) - Popular with Potato People.
- Raw Horseflesh Ice Cream (Basashi Aisu) - HOLY CRAP!!! And may I add HOLY CRAP again. Who the HELL came up with this on. I bet a horse probably didn't.
- Red Wine Ice Cream (Aka Wain Aisu) - Goes great with a side of Winos.
- Rice Straw Ice Cream - Um, is this actually made out of straw as well? HeeHaw.
- Salad Ice Cream - With chunks of real veggies - Ewwwwww.
- Seaweed Ice Cream (Wakame Aisu) - Great for fish stoners.
- Sesame, Soybean and Dried Kelp Ice Cream (Gozukon Aisu)- Oh my GOD!!! Snuffleupagus. You BASTARDS!!! Wait. That's Sesame Street. Never mind.
- Shark Fin Noodle Ice Cream (Fukahire Ramen Aisu)- Eat it while watching Jaws and laughing your ass off.
- Shrimp Ice Cream (Sakura Ebi Aisu) - They made a flavor out of Emmanuel Lewis?
- Silk Ice Cream (Kinu Aisu)- Ooooh, just like my boxers.
- Soy Sauce Ice Cream - Smear this on your steak (or yourself for those particularly kinky nights)
- Spinach Ice Cream(Horenso Aisu) - Give this to Olive Oil. After a few of these, she'll finally put some weight on.
- Squid Gut Ice Cream - Just the sheer fact that it has "Gut" in the title makes it one of my favorites.
- Squid Ice Cream (Ika Aisu) - What, no guts?
- Squid Ink Ice Cream - Stuff this in your Bic.
- Stout Ice Cream (Kuro Biiru Aisu) - Black Beer - Imagine getting shit faced off of beer. I hear the kids LOVE it.
- Sweet Potato Ice Cream (Yaki-imo) - All I have to say is "Sweet"... oh and "Potato";
- Tomato Ice Cream - Think... I'm... gonna... puke. I wonder if this would be consider something like an "Italian Ice" (Hey)
- Tulip Ice Cream (Chuurippu Aisu) - Stuff the Tulips 'tween my two lips.
- Wasabi Ice Cream (Wasabi Aisu) - B..B....Bar....BARF
- Whale Ice Cream (Kujira Aisu)- I know too much Ice Cream can turn you INTO a whale....
- Wheat Ice Cream (Mugi Aisu) - Too bad it doesn't come with Buck.
I am really surprised to not find such wonder flavors as raccoon, feral ferret, rotting moose, blueberry bile, puss with chunks, sweaty pits, sour scab, unleaded gasoline, vanilla dandruff, or just plain ass.