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> Tangent #15: Bag People
This is GREAT!!! I had purchased a computer part not too long ago and opened up the box it came in. Sure enough, it was wrapped in a giant vacuum sealed puncture proof bag that was almost impossible to open. Thankfully, I called 911 and Firemen brought the Jaws of Life over to wrench the content out (which of course destroyed everything IN the bag by the end of the rescue).

What REALLY struck me funny was the warning information graphics on the bag. I just started laughing my ass off. They were so damn goofy. Unfortunately, I had no idea what they meant. There were no WORDS (which would be helpful), so here are my thought on what they may mean.

The First Warning (on the left)
  • ABSOLUTELY NO yodelling while wearing space suits.
  • If you have a stupid head that looks like a box, DO NOT strangle yourself as a manner of suicide.
  • DO NOT play ping pong with an amputated head.
  • DO NOT forget to carry a mirror in front of you at all time. Helps with identifying vampires and alleviates Medusa infestations.
  • DO NOT carve a picture of loveably depressed cartoon character ZIGGY into a really large ice cube.
  • DO NOT practice auto-erotic asphyxiation while lying in bed.
The Second Warning (on the right)
  • DO NOT make baby sandwiches.
  • DO NOT put big wigs on babies and force them to join beauty pageants. Can anyone say "JonBenet Ramsey ".
  • DO NOT allow a pile of pills to randomly fall on the floor creating a strange pattern.
  • ABSOLUTELY NO baby racing allowed.
  • ABSOLUTELY NO "Doggy Style" while wearing adult diapers allowed in hotel bedrooms YOU FREAK!!!.
  • ABSOLUTELY NO babies with bags on their head allowed in this area. Please leave the babies with bags on their heads at home.
How I do love really stupid signs, information graphics, and warning labels.