< Prev         Random Page         Next >
> Tangent #14: The Big O
When you are a young buck full of life, you are probably saying something like THIS while having sex:
O-O-O-O-O-Yeah. O-You know you like that. Hoooo. Mmmhmmm. Like that. Grrrrr. I'm a Pirate. Yeah... Love Pirate. You like the Peg Leg don't ya, saucy trollop. Mmmm. O-O-O. Where did the parrot go? There it is. Now flip around. Oh yeah. All... night... long... baby.
When you are lucky enough to find that certain special someone to marry, sex suddenly turns into something like this:
O-O-O-O-O-My God I'm HUNGRY. Hey, are you done yet. Hop off and grab me a sammich. Oooh, and some of those brownies. Hey, where is the remote. "Heroes" is almost on. Have to see if they save the cheerleader.
And as life goes on, sex becomes:
O-O-O-O-Ow-Ow-ooooooh. Stop! Ahhh. My back. Shit. Hurts. Think I slipped a disc. Cramping... Holy... damn. Do you have the chiropractor's number. Ahh... hurts. Get off. Stop. Oooh, got some... blah... indigestion too. Need some Mylanta or something... blah.. oooh... ah...
Or when you suddenly discover during sex that you really want to be a Broadway Star:
O-O-O-O-O-Oklahoma! Where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain
And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet
When the wind comes right behind the rain.
Oklahoma! Ev'ry night my honey lamb and I
Sit alone and talk and watch a hawk
Makin' lazy circles in the sky.
We know we belong to the land
And the land we belong to is grand!
And when we say
"Yeeow! Ayipioeeay!"
We're only sayin'
"You're doin' fine, Oklahoma!"
Oklahoma O.K.
Or even WORSE:
O-O-O-O-O'Reilly Factor is really a great show. It is full of fun and interesting facts from a totally unbiased truly professional commentary style that only HELPS not hinders this great country of ours.