< Prev         Random Page         Next >
> Tangent #12: Wiferism - I Don't Want To Go To Italy
Here is the very FIRST Wiferism that I have decided to write down. What is a Wiferism you may ask, and why are my fingers trembling in fear as I type this out for your enjoyment. I fear... oh yes... I fear mighty repercussions for this, but the world must know (no matter what kind of tortures I may have to endure after Mrs. Maniac reads these words)?

A Wiferism is basically some of the weird and... uh... rather silly things that my wife says at times. Silly being defined as possibly retarded of course. Well, me being me and not you, I HAVE to write this ALL down. I mean, c'mon. Some good stuff here. I couldn't MAKE this stuff up if I wanted to. God Forgive Me.

I love my wife, therefore I must mock her. After all, who else can you mock, if you can't mock the ones you love (and if she gets REALLY pissed after reading this, I may well be mocking on heaven's door soon).

O.K., I'm looking around. Seems all clear. I think she may be in bed.... here it goes.... (wish me luck)

DM = Drooling ManiacMrs. M = Mrs. Maniac
[Both Mrs. Maniac and myself are chilling on the couch one day. We begin to talk about places that we have always dreamed about going to for vacation]
California, yeah California would be cool.
Mrs. M:
Oooooh, we could go see Alcatraz. I ALWAYS wanted to see Alcatraz.
You know where I would REALLY love to go. Italy. Now THAT would be sweet. So much history, culture, ART, and....
Mrs. M:
Ewwwwww. I don't want to go there. Why do you want to go there. We can't go there. That's stupid. I mean. I can't even speak Spanish. How could we understand anybody over there.
Uhhhh.... honey... you know that Sp... never mind....