I was walking past the cemetery last night (sporting my nifty red shiney jacket, one glove cause I lost the other one, and tons of jerry curl).

Suddenly, I heard a deep moan coming from the graves. I stopped, my feet taking root like trees. And then....from the darkness...it crept out from its eternal slumber.

It was hideous, this abomination of humanity. A terror or incomprehensible horror. And as it slowly slothed its way towards me, leaving a trail of slime behind, it...slowly...reached it's gnarled hand towards me....and...

Oh, wait. Silly me. It's just Lindsay Lohan. What a relief.

So I hit her with a shovel. No "Herbie the LoveDud" sequel EVER!!! (crowd cheers).