It is after midnight as me and my main man Fred walked through the woods on the outskirts of town. The moon hangs low over the looming trees. We were bored and decided to pick up a few six packs and chug them in our little place in the woods.

As we walked into the darkness, my flashlight showed us the way. Suddenly, I heard a piercing demonic scream from in the forest. We looked at each other and shrugged it off. We walked slowly, deeper into the heart of the woods. More screams wreaked the air all around us. Fred dropped his beer and started shaking. Suddenly, my flashlight went out. I started cussing and beating the flashlight.

The screams came closer and I heard Fred scream in horror, then in agonizing pain. I started to shake all over and when my flashlight came on again, I screamed. Mutant chipmunks were eating Fred's face off. It was disgusting.

One was chewing off his nose while another one was happily nibbling out his left eye. Fred turned to me and yelled for help while his brains spurted out his ears all over me. I ran and when I found my way out of the woods, I chugged my beer.

Moral of the Story:
Don't drink beer when mutant chipmunks are near.