Flashback: My first day of College. This was the day when the good people of the University showed you around, told you what you had to do, and then took you to a trained advisor to help you with your schedule of classes. Like most of the others, I sat there feeling nervous. This was a whole new experience, and I really wasn't sure what to do. I felt like a man, lost in a jungle, about ready to find his guide to show him the way out.

One by one, the people ahead of me were taken to their own advisors. Finally, my name was called out. This was it. I got to meet my advisor at the doorway. She seemed like a nice enough woman. I was led to a small room where I was sat on an uncomfortable chair. Suddenly all of these questions were being hurled at me." What do you want your major to be? What classes do you want to take?" I found myself staring at a long list typed on computer paper that seemed to have about 5,000 classes written on it. I came real close to hyperventilating. How could I tell her that I didn't really know what I wanted my major to be? None of the classes listed seemed to match up into a coherent schedule that a human could take without going crazy. I didn't know what to do. I was lost and just felt like screaming at the top of my lungs "HELP".

During this entire period of my mini-nervous breakdown the advisor was pointing out things that seemed to only confuse me even more. After awhile, there was only silence. I was trying to work out my life for the next six months or so and none of it made sense. I looked up, sweat trickling down my flushed face and saw my advisor sitting back in her chair, eyes closed. She had fallen asleep. During this highly traumatic time for me, during this transitional phase of my life, she was taking a small NAP!!!! I cleared my throat a couple of times, and she finally came out of it. I do not know if she was sick, did not get enough rest, or I just bored her to tears. All I know is that I put my life into this woman's hands and found her catching some Z's. This destroyed my morale for the whole process.

In the end she gave me a schedule that was impossible. Somehow I was suppose to make it from Something-Something Hall, which is in the middle of campus, and hurry down to Unpronounceable Hall in five minutes. I later found out from someone else that this would be an impossible feat unless I had the power to fly and/or make time start and stop at will.

I ended up redoing my whole schedule by myself. There were no advisors there to confuse me. It was simple...