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> Wiferism
Pronunciation: 'wIf-&r-'i-z&m
Function: Noun
1: These are actual sayings that are uttered from my wife's mouth. Typically, Wiferisms consist of silly, weird, and just plain brain farts that accidently escape from her lips (but are FREAKIN' hysterical).

Sure, it may be cruel to blatantly ridicule some stupid things that my wife says to me, but hey... isn't that what the blessed union of marriage is all about? She still loves me (uh... at least I HOPE she does... she might not if she ever decided to go online and read some of these things I am writing about her. Thank God she hates computers or else my proverbial ass would be proverbial grass. So PLEASE, if anybody should by chance see Mrs. Maniac out and about, try not to go up to her and say "Hey, you know, your husband is a real asshole and is writing bad things about you. You should go home and kick him in the nuts." She would too. She'd come right home and kick me square, circle, and triangle right in the amazing dangling boys of Peckerville. The thing is, it probably wouldn't even be because of me writing things about her. After all, I mock her right to her face just for giggles anyways. She just hits me. Hard. I think she would just kick me in the nuts because... well... she would like to kick me in the nuts. She is like that. I blame too many violent movies and television shows like "How I Met Your Mother Who Kicked Me In The Nuts", "Everybody Loves Raymond Being Kicked In The Nuts", and "Owwww, Bitch. You're Stepping On My Nuts" (starring that BJ guy from BJ and the Bear)
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