Sandwiches are beautiful beautiful things in life. Quick and easy to make, you don't need any utensils, just slap down two pieces of bread, throw on any left-overs you find in the fridge (bologna, chicken, raisins, jello, lard, etc.), squirt on mustard/ketchup/A-1/ranch dressing/cheese whiz, and BOOM. You have yourself a meal you can hold in one hand. How lovely indeed.
A "Sammich", however, is a sandwich that is so much more. It is a sandwich made with love. A sandwich in which you can just curl up in its total goodness and take a mini-mind-vacation in. So good you almost want to make love to it.
A "Sammich" is the closest thing to heaven next to internet porn. Actually, the sexiest thing I have EVER seen is footage of a super-hot chick wearing almost nothing for a photoshoot purchasing a tasty "Sammich" at a supermarket. I was just thinking to myself while watching this..."Wow, that's looks like a great Sammich. She's hot. Almost naked. But DAMN that Sammich looks. Ooooh. I wonder what all is on it. Mmmmmmm." Then I slipped off into my Naughty Fantasy in which she shows up at my door, nothing but a skimpy little "do me" outfit on, holding THAT Sammich. I would look deep into her eyes, her luscious round lips quivering with anticipation and desire as she begins to unlace her shirt exposing more of her ample bossoms, and slowly... ever so slowly... I reach my big manly hand out to her and TAKE THAT SAMMICH. Damn, that looked like a good Sammich.
- Tangent #14: The Big O